Loving People Who Are Hard to Love: Book Review

 [Started April 18, 2026] Hey, 

I hope you're having a great day today. I can say that I am feeling refreshed on this Saturday- from rest and connecting with Him. I wanted to share with you on the book that I am currently reading by none other than Joyce Meyer herself. When I saw this book at my local Ollie's, my intent was to read this book to discover ways in which I can love those who are hard to love. Based on this first week of me reading this book, I have captured many insights that I feel we all should know: 

• When we show love to that person, God is there. Joyce brings up an example of a Russian man in the early 1900s that lost his wife and child. He started to lose his faith until a friend mentioned to him that he still needed to connect with God. This man began to read the Bible again and began to serve others around his neighborhood. I won't tell too much as you would have to read the book for yourself :). 
• We can love someone and not like everything they do. There are some traits that annoy us about that person, but then there are positive traits that we should look into as we continue our walk with God and keep some connections close during our walk. 
• Love always believes the best about others, not focusing on prejudice and racism. 
• There was this cool analogy that Joyce mentioned in the book about the dented cans that she used to buy in the beginning of her ministry. This serves as a reminder that we all come with dents in our lives and that our labels are different from what we see versus what we actually get.
• Enjoy the good parts of that person while waiting for God to deal with the bad traits within them. 
• We need to fix ourselves first before we go judging other people. It's easy to point out someone else's flaws to make us feel good about ourselves. This is NOT what God wants; we need to do a body check on what bad traits we should correct and fix within ourselves and not go judging other people. 
• We are our own version of a porcupine. Just like how porcupines have quills to protect themselves from their prey, that's how we all are when it comes onto not wanting to get hurt repeatedly. 
• Don't let how other people act determine how you act toward others. It took me years to do; there's a quote that I feel we should all go by: Kill them with kindness. When someone is being rude to you, return the favor with being kind and walk away with a smile on your face :). 
• Get to know that person on who they are and love them anyway. 
• There was a deep dive on 1 Corinthians 13 that Joyce discussed. I'm thinking of completing a series on this chapter from the Bible.
• Becoming a peacemaker includes speaking at the right time and being spiritually mature. In other words; think before you speak and speak only when spoken to :).
• There was another deep dive on another chapter from the Bible. Joyce mentions putting on the Full Armor of God (Ephesians 6) to maintain our peace. As I'm typing this out, I'm being led to even do a series on putting on the Full Armor of God :). 
• You don't need to prove yourself right when being falsely accused. Let peace guide you through these troubling times. When Jesus went in front of King Herod before His Crucifixion, He was asked if He really was the King of Jews. Jesus did not respond to King Herod...we should be like Jesus and not need to prove anything to anyone. 
• Have power thoughts with your mind through prayer and Biblical affirmations. 
• Like I stated earlier and I will say it again, do a body/mind check on what steals your peace and ways to overcome it. I will say that as of lately, I have had to do a body/mind check on what irritates my peace... and I have gotten to the root of the problem and am currently fixing it as I type :). 
• People's anger is rooted in fear of what they cannot control.
• We should ignore people who make us feel incapable and unable to accomplish what God has ordained us to do. Another Biblical example is King David that Joyce mentions. When going to war against Goliath and the opposing army, David's older brother was upset that he joined them and was questioning why he was not tending the sheep. David ignored the comments and went out to defeat Goliath :). 
• Have God be your vindicator from your past hurts. To vindicate means to clear the blame on what might have taken place. Have God clear your mind and spirit from the past hurts. 
• Joyce mentions how people have repressed anger and that we need to deal with it ahead of time before it becomes expressed anger or worse. 
• Disagree agreeableably. Everyone has their own opinions, but we don't need to be forced into that person's thinking...especially if this goes against God's Commandments.  
• Instead of discussing topics that will get the two of you heated, find a common ground and discuss topics that you both agree on. 
• Saying "I think I'm right, but I could be wrong" eases the tension of pride and wanting to prove your perspective. These nine words will keep the bond mutual yet still connected. 
• Our insecurities lead to fear and what we perceive to the world. 
• Strife is an undercurrent anger that leads to destruction. This includes gossip; critical judgment of someone, and rebellion against a place or a group of people. 
• Be a strife stopper, not a strife feeder. If you hear a group of people gossiping, it's best to walk away and not feed your mind on the not-so-pleasant discussion. 

In my second week of me reading this book, there was a lot of repetition with what I read last week. Below are the new set of insights I've captured: 

• The way we think about people connects with how well we get along with them. 

There was a quote by Joel Osteen that stood out to me. Below is the quote that you could take a look at:

This quote truly proved that I could either be angry at every little thing that gets to me, or I could brush the situation away and smile. 

• Offense is one of Satan's tools that is used to keep us from loving one another. 
• There was the Wheat and the Weeds Parable that was mentioned in the book (the actual parable can be found in Matthew 13:24-30 in the Bible) which talks about how us as God's children are mixed in with non-believers. It is up to us to be wise and follow God's Commandment with what we allow to impart within us along with the way we treat other people.
• Do good to those who mistreat or don't like you. This will make the devil mad and have God be happy that you are bigger and better than the one who has done you wrong. (Note: this depends on the situation and your connection with that person). 
•  If you ever feel offended, say "no thank you" and walk away. Honestly, I would suggest walking away without responding to that person. Have them really reflect on their actions. 
• Don't let anyone's opinions determine your worth in life. Have what God says to you determine your worth in life.
• Many people are angry because of the guilty conscience with the sin they have committed. It's not that you have done anything to that person; it's multiple battles that this person is facing in their life and is waiting for the right person to take it out on. 
• To know what to do and not actually do it is considered a sin. This tells God that you are disobedient to His Calling for you.  
• We grieve the Holy Spirit by the unwholesome talk that comes out of our mouths such as complaining, gossiping, and profanity. In other words, stop talking about other people; be thankful for what you have instead of complaining for what you don't have, and work on not swearing :). 
• Joyce did a deep dive on Ephesians 4 telling what grieves the Holy Spirit versus what makes the Holy Spirit happy. I will do a deep dive on this myself...I'm currently in the process of making my other series for the podcast segment :). 
• We all have a conscience within through the Holy Spirit. If we do something wrong, we would feel it inside our bodies. That's an indication to apologize to God and fix it with the person whom you hurt. 
• Love doesn't keep a record of how many offenses have been done to you. Learn to forgive, move forward, and have God do the rest for you. 
• You can accept the person for who they are; however, you don't have to accept the sin they are living in. Pray and continue to love those who sin. Only God can change that person and move them away from sin. 
• The world would be boring if we were all the same. God made us different for a reason. 
• Pray to God on how He wants that person to be, not how you want them to be. 
• Enjoy every stage of your spiritual growth with God :). 

In the third week of me reading this book, I didn't delve into my reading like how I wanted to as I had to deal with life...and that is okay. Here are another set of insights that I captured during my read: 

• Jesus Christ accepts us, even when the world doesn't. This maybe hard for us to hear, but this is true. God loves you for who you are regarding your personality and that you are living a sin-free life. 
• Instead of reacting to people behaving badly, let's discern what's the real reason behind that person's behavior. In the field of teaching, it's very easy to discern the student's behavior and the root of why the student is behaving badly. Outside of that, it can be difficult to understand why. What Joyce is saying is this: Don't take that other person's actions toward you to heart. 
• You can love someone from a distance. This helps with keeping your boundaries away from people who take you out of your peace. 
• "Love is how we treat someone, not how we feel about them." I had to quote this word-for-word from this book as this stands very true about love. In other words, actions speak louder than words. Saying that you love someone is not enough. 
• We tend to take on the actions and behaviors of our role models, whether they're good or bad. If it's based on your upbringing, do a body scan on the correct behaviors to exhibit. If this is coming from people on the internet that you look up to, use discernment :). 
• We can humbly adapt to people who are different than we are, however, we shouldn't adapt to sin. 

In the final week of me reading this book, I had LOTS of insight and eye-openers. I was so amazed that I decided to share these with you: 

• We all have an equal opportunity for salvation, no matter your race.  
• Broaden your circle of inclusion away from social media and text messages. With the world that we're in, we find comfort behind our screens. It's best to go outside your comfort zone and get to talk to other people outside your main social circle.
• There should be no favoritism based on someone's status quo or their money. This is something that I've seen in the past several months...and I can say that this is not inclusive at all. Anyone that does this is not giving the other person a chance at all...and that's a true sin. 
• Our worth is not measured by the possessions we own; it's about the heart and your true intentions.  
• It's not hard to love people who are hard to love; it takes kind words, kind thoughts, prayers, and giving. This will make the enemy mad. 
• We will receive our blessings and prosperity from God once we become obedient to what He would like for us to do that is pleasing in His Eyes. 
• You are not broken; God has made you new. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says anyone in Christ is a new creation, behold the old has passed away...and the new has begun. The old you is no more; you are made new once you turn your life over to Christ. 
• You are the light of the world; let your light shine. Keep in mind that you shine bright in every room because God is surrounding you 24/7. If you need a reminder, read Matthew 5:14-16 from the Bible. 
• We need love to get us through tough times. At the end of the day; love wins when it is done right :).  

I truly love reading this book and I highly suggest that you read it too. Make sure to grab yourself a copy here or check out your local bookstore. I also found a Bible plan here that connects with this book that you should definitely check out alongside this Bible plan on building positive relationships. 

Note: When connecting with other persons, YOU have to make sure to use discernment to determine if that person should stay in your life or if they are in your life for a season. Have a blessed day and enjoy the read :).